Listen up if you have anxiety.

Photo by Yogendra Singh from Pexels

No matter how good meditation is supposed to be for me, it doesn’t change the fact that sitting in meditation feels like watching paint dry. Actually, watching paint dry would be more stimulating than sitting and doing nothing. What made meditation so achingly difficult for me was the belief that my mind should be blank. But in the process of earning my mindfulness coaching certification, I found out I was wrong.

Friend. You can’t stop yourself from thinking just the same as you can’t stop your heart from beating. And thank goodness! …


Hint: You’ve only got so much energy.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

We’ve all struggled with procrastination at some point in our lives — or the week. But if procrastination is becoming hard for you to overcome, maybe it’s time to change your approach. If you want to stop letting procrastination rule your life, but you aren’t sure what else you can do, Dr. Courtney Tracy, AKA The Truth Doctor, shared an actionable tip for you on TikTok to help.

Video via @the.truth.doctor on TikTok.

You’ve probably tried waking up early, making to-do lists and setting reminders, but these tactics haven’t helped. Here’s why: often…


No, I don’t include the box the toys come in.

Image by Gratisography via Pexels.com

I know what you’re going to ask, who are you to be making such wild claims? It’s a weird flex, but not only do I have three cats of my own, I worked at an animal shelter for four years. As I used to tell the volunteers when I trained them how to handle the adoptable cats, you may have had a few cats over your lifetime, but within a year in the shelter, you’ll have met hundreds of cats. The toys that I recommend in this post are not…


“If you don’t call me back and at least tell me what’s going on in one hour, my next voicemail will be me breaking up with you.”

A triggered Anxiously Attached person said those words. I said those words. I’m the Anxiously Attached person.

In my defense, I had just been given my kryptonite: Without warning, my boyfriend went silent, and wordlessly took me back home from a dinner date, and then left. The entire ride, he was unresponsive to my frantic questions. He only spoke when we got inside my house to ask if I’d “be okay”. I slid…


Entrepreneurs, freelance writers, coaches… This is for you.

A young professional woman has her head on her laptop on her desk in a spacious office.
A young professional woman has her head on her laptop on her desk in a spacious office.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

I called my dad in tears. I’ve been hustling, building my coaching practice and freelance writing business, working 10–12 hour days. Most of that work doesn’t see compensation. I was in the early, proof of concept days.

My friends who were also laid off due to the pandemic were getting back into jobs and earning salaries again. Meanwhile, my savings kept getting lower and lower with each month.

“Should I go apply for jobs?” I asked, in tears.

“Pff, don’t do that,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. …


Keep those plates spinning without breaking the bank.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

As a freelance writer, podcaster and coach, I have a lot of spinning plates in the air. High productivity is next to Godliness, so I’ve started using some tools to help.

These are what have worked for me, and I use them all in combination for ultimate efficiency.

Forest

As I write this, a tree is growing. If I get distracted and open a different app on my phone before the timer is up, the tree will shrivel and die. That lifeless, leafless tree will live in posterity in my forest — a reminder of the consequences of a wandering mind.


It’s hard, but you can do it.

Photo by mikoto.raw from Pexels

I talk to women about breakups every day. It’s my passion and my job. I’ve seen firsthand what helps and what hinders breakup recovery.

After a particularly brutal breakup recovery of my own, I made it my mission to learn everything I could about turning the hardest thing into the best thing that’s ever happened. I earned my life coaching certification and started seeing clients. Since then, I started a podcast on the topic called “The Ex-Philes: Breakups, Broken Hearts and Moving On” with my fellow breakup specialist Janice Formichella.

I’ve been asked many times:

Should I disappear from social…


Your thoughts and emotions don’t have to define you.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

I broke up with my first ever high school boyfriend on Valentine’s Day over a decade ago.

Even as a naive junior, I knew that we had different plans for our lives, and it wasn’t going to work. I knew it had to be done. But it was still my first heartbreak. I had no idea how to process feelings It was also the first time I realized that I could choose to ignore my feelings*.

After what I thought was the worst week of my young life, I squashed that heartbreak down… and found relief. I remember congratulating myself…


Even if you think no one will ever come close to him.

Photo by Elise Bunting from Pexels

No one will ever be like him.

This is one of the most common things I am told by the women I help.

And it’s important to address because the belief that your ex is truly unique and that his love is the only love that will fully satisfy you is directly preventing you from healing.

I know I’ve said those words before.

My ex was incredible. He had this magnetism and charisma to him. He lit up every room he walked into. And he shared with me the insecurities beneath the facade. To me…


I learned these lessons the hard way, so you don’t have to.

Photo by Artem Podrez from Pexels

I remember it well.

Sitting on the same couch that we used to sit facing each other, legs intertwined, watching New Girl.

His house key was still on my car keys. His pictures in my phone. Our text messages burning little green boxes into the back of my eyelids.

The Keurig he gave me, that had become a daily reminder of his absence. The blender. The oatmeal jar. My favorite mug. Dang — he really had an impact on my kitchen.

My home became a place too choked with memories for me to recover from my breakup. …

Clair Lofthouse

Heartbreak Glow Up Guide. Super-charged self-love. Must like cats. clairlofthouse.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store