It all about the small things.

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I spend a lot of time thinking about my exes.

Of course, that’s the last thing I recommend to my clients when helping them through their breakup healing. And yet so much of my work is informed by my own experience.

My Medium articles and podcast episodes share how I…

  • Moved in with someone way too soon


I chose not to take back a man I loved because our love was a dumpster fire.

Quote graphic created by the author.

“I want you back.” He was sitting beside me on the beach, the two of us looking out at the waves.

Surprised, I looked over at him. His face was unreadable under his sunglasses. His rounded shoulders slumped forward just enough that I could see his tattoo on his shoulder. One love. It was ironic since we had broken up because he was still in love with an ex from years prior.

Yet we stayed friends after our heart-shattering breakup. We still loved…


You’re not attracting toxic people.

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My therapist started the session by apologizing. The week before when we met, we had talked about my relationship history, and how most of the men I had dated struggled with their own mental health, predominantly depression.

We had mused over whether I was getting into relationships with men with this specific characteristic because I needed to learn something about myself.

And the next week she apologized. She said that she was concerned that over the course of the conversation she had given me the impression that it was my fault for attracting these men…


Listen up if you have anxiety.

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No matter how good meditation is supposed to be for me, it doesn’t change the fact that sitting in meditation feels like watching paint dry. Actually, watching paint dry would be more stimulating than sitting and doing nothing. What made meditation so achingly difficult for me was the belief that my mind should be blank. But in the process of earning my mindfulness coaching certification, I found out I was wrong.

Friend. You can’t stop yourself from thinking just the same as you can’t stop your heart from beating. And thank goodness! …


Hint: You’ve only got so much energy.

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We’ve all struggled with procrastination at some point in our lives — or the week. But if procrastination is becoming hard for you to overcome, maybe it’s time to change your approach. If you want to stop letting procrastination rule your life, but you aren’t sure what else you can do, Dr. Courtney Tracy, AKA The Truth Doctor, shared an actionable tip for you on TikTok to help.

Video via @the.truth.doctor on TikTok.

You’ve probably tried waking up early, making to-do lists and setting reminders, but these tactics haven’t helped. Here’s why: often…


No, I don’t include the box the toys come in.

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I know what you’re going to ask, who are you to be making such wild claims? It’s a weird flex, but not only do I have three cats of my own, I worked at an animal shelter for four years. As I used to tell the volunteers when I trained them how to handle the adoptable cats, you may have had a few cats over your lifetime, but within a year in the shelter, you’ll have met hundreds of cats. The toys that I recommend in this post are not…


“If you don’t call me back and at least tell me what’s going on in one hour, my next voicemail will be me breaking up with you.”

A triggered Anxiously Attached person said those words. I said those words. I’m the Anxiously Attached person.

In my defense, I had just been given my kryptonite: Without warning, my boyfriend went silent, and wordlessly took me back home from a dinner date, and then left. The entire ride, he was unresponsive to my frantic questions. He only spoke when we got inside my house to ask if I’d “be okay”. I slid…


Entrepreneurs, freelance writers, coaches… This is for you.

A young professional woman has her head on her laptop on her desk in a spacious office.
A young professional woman has her head on her laptop on her desk in a spacious office.
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I called my dad in tears. I’ve been hustling, building my coaching practice and freelance writing business, working 10–12 hour days. Most of that work doesn’t see compensation. I was in the early, proof of concept days.

My friends who were also laid off due to the pandemic were getting back into jobs and earning salaries again. Meanwhile, my savings kept getting lower and lower with each month.

“Should I go apply for jobs?” I asked, in tears.

“Pff, don’t do that,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. …


Keep those plates spinning without breaking the bank.

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As a freelance writer, podcaster and coach, I have a lot of spinning plates in the air. High productivity is next to Godliness, so I’ve started using some tools to help.

These are what have worked for me, and I use them all in combination for ultimate efficiency.

Forest

As I write this, a tree is growing. If I get distracted and open a different app on my phone before the timer is up, the tree will shrivel and die. That lifeless, leafless tree will live in posterity in my forest — a reminder of the consequences of a wandering mind.


It’s hard, but you can do it.

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I talk to women about breakups every day. It’s my passion and my job. I’ve seen firsthand what helps and what hinders breakup recovery.

After a particularly brutal breakup recovery of my own, I made it my mission to learn everything I could about turning the hardest thing into the best thing that’s ever happened. I earned my life coaching certification and started seeing clients. Since then, I started a podcast on the topic called “The Ex-Philes: Breakups, Broken Hearts and Moving On” with my fellow breakup specialist Janice Formichella.

I’ve been asked many times:

Should I disappear from social…

Clair Lofthouse

Heartbreak Glow Up Guide. Super-charged self-love. Must like cats. clairlofthouse.com

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